| Was it real? |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|07:50 am] |
| [ | Feelin' A Little Bit |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | Postal Service | ] |
"I really want to kiss you right now...is that weird?"
God...I can't sleep and my heart feels like it's on fire. These things never happen to me. And not in the perfect way to the perfect music at the perfect time. It couldn't have happened. Your hand was sweaty in my and I tried to keep my eyes closed as you stared at my face. Then...you did what I never thought you would do. What if I had said no? Of course I didn't...of course I wanted it just as much as you if not more. You leaned forward against the center console and your lips touched mine for the first time. I didn't know what to feel. We laughed because it was clumsy and the angle was insane, but I kissed you again. And you smiled and I held your hand with both of mine and you stared again. My stomach had never felt so light and my body never felt so hot and your teeth bumped mine and we held it longer, but I couldn't help thinking about how bad I was. And you laughed with me and we blamed it on the center console as you climbed with me into the passenger seat. How we both fit there I will never know, but I never felt so comfortable in my life. You held me close and touched my hair and kissed me again and again, and again and again I loved your touch. I asked you if this was real and you said you didn't know. You told me about a dream you had and I told you about mine and we laughed again. I love your laugh, and I love your intimacy and I still don't believe it happened. We must have stayed there for at least an hour before we climbed out on clumsy legs. We went back to your place and ate cereal and watched Cops as our arms gently grazed on the couch. I couldn't stop staring. I wanted to kiss you again, but I was worried that you already regretted it, and your dad was in the next room. We left for a final time and in the close vicinities of his dark room, I wanted you worse than ever before. But people were around and they still didn't know. I wonder if they knew you liked me at all. We left and I held you as we said goodbye and the drive home was as lonely as I thought it would be with only thoughts of you for comfort.
I can't help but wonder if you're thinking about me, or if you regret the whole thing. Did the clumsiness of my kisses throw you off? I can't stop thinking about it and I want you here and I'm already wishing I didn't have to move. I don't know what to say except, I like you, and it wasn't weird at all. I will always welcome your kiss. |
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sumkindastrange's journal
